Naomi Watts -- Fastest Post-Baby Slimdown Ever?

Prior to today, Heidi Klum's impressive 2005 weight loss following the birth of son Henry (she was on the runway in lingerie less than two months later!) was the benchmark by which all new mothers felt judged. But last night, Naomi Watts swiped the hot mom crown from Klum, flaunting her post-baby bod less than one month after giving birth!

"I'm breast feeding and he's sucking it all out of me, it seems," Naomi told People about son Samuel Kai Schreiber and her shockingly speedy slimdown. "And when the baby comes out, it's a lot of weight right there."

Plus juggling two sons -- Samuel's brother Alexander was born in July 2007 -- keeps the new mom running ragged all day long, right? "And I've also got this big baby right here," she adorably said, calling out scrumptious hubby/BF/partner Liev Schreiber

Britney Spears Journal Excerpts: Voices Tell Her To Run and Hide

Last week I told about Brit Brit's saucy journals and videos that were stolen from her house via the National Enquirer. Now I'm bringing you what they are claiming is inside.

Keep in mind the National Enquirer is no Associated Press, but still, they haven't been hit with a lawsuit from Britney's camp on this yet. The issue claims Britney is in a "panic" over the stolen journals and that the video interviews were "done during some of the darkest days of her life." By the sound of the ridiculous "excerpts" Celebitchy.com printed from the story below, it looks like she may have been busy looking for her marbles.

• *"Britney writes she has heard voices talking to her for years. She still hears them, and they tell her to run away and hide."


• "She was out of her head at the time and was suffering from delusions. She believed that someone had planted an electronic bug in her hair and couldn't think of a way to get rid of except to have her head shaved!"


• "She just wanted to show Kevin who was boss. She still loves Kevin, and she wants her boys to know that."


• "She was threatening: 'I'll kill the kids!' Out of her mind and wired on the drug methamphetamine, Britney refused to let her visiting sons Sean and Jayden return to Kevin."


• "Britney wants to have closure and start fresh. Britney's gift to the boys is her truth."

Check, please! Oh man, I am so glad we got the old ab-tacular, dance-o-matic Britney Spears back. Obviously a lot of her behavior was influenced by Sam Lutfi drugging her (which he admitted to Britney's mom Lynne Spears.) But, now that the real Miss Spears is back ... can't we just throw these confessions 'From the Bottom of Her Broken Heart' in the same garbage bin Lutfi's living in.

Rihanna's New Single "Whipping My Hair": Listen

In a case of incredibly bad/awkward/fortuitous timing, the title of this brand-spanking newly leaked Rihanna track is "Whipping My Hair."

The sad thing, it's not about how she would swing her locks around and smack that sucker Chris Brown in the clavicle. Instead it's about how she will "have what you need" and "sprinkle you with pieces of me." Which yes, RiRi, you do have what we need, but right now I need you to get away from that mean mean man Mr. Brown!

This single is reportedly produced by The-Dream and Christopher "Tricky" Stewart, the men behind her mega-hits "Umbrella" and "Breakin' Dishes" -- they're also the fellas who did Beyonce's "Single Ladies."

It's nice to get a little break from all of this Chris Brown madness and remember why we all actually care about Rihanna -- for her music. Take a listen after the transition (ohhh catchy!)

All Signs Point To Johnny Depp's Crotch

All Signs Point To Johnny Depp's Crotch

Not only will "Public Enemies" be included on my must-see list for summer movies -- it's out July 1 -- but I suspect come Oscar time next year, it will also be sitting pretty atop the Academy's list as well. The film, which stars Johnny Depp as real life gangster John Dillinger and Christian Bale as the FBI agent pursuing him, has remarkably and frustratingly kept the majority of its footage under wraps. Letting just a few snippets out during this year's Oscar end credits.

But now that this crotch-centric poster has debuted, it can't be much longer until we get a proper look at the rest of the cast. Yes, while Johnny and Christian could sustain a movie completely on their own, director Michael Mann has surrounded the fellas with a bevy of beautiful boys and babes to train their Tommy Guns on.

Playing Johnny's girlfriend is the stunning Marion Cottilard, while Billy Crudup steps into the shoes of a pre-drag J. Edgar Hoover and Channing Tatum pops up as Dillinger's criminal-in-arms, Pretty Boy Floyd.

Jessica Simpson Possibly Dumps Her Girl-Haired Boyfriend

Jessica Simpson may be a hulking bright orange man-jawed talent vacuum - but at least she's a hulking bright orange man-jawed talent vacuum who makes the news when she splits up with people, which is more than any of us can say for you.

It's been rumoured that Jessica Simpson - former professional idiot and performer of films and songs you couldn't even consider liking - has apparently split up with her boyfriend, the equally vapid blues-lite musician John Mayer. This earth-shattering split hasn't been confirmed by either Jessica Simpson or John Mayer yet, but enough sources have reported it for us to assume that it's probably true. What's the point of reporting a speculative rumour about Jessica Simpson's private life, you ask? Well, it's a quiet news day and it's either this or we write about Jessica Simpson's crappy new film. Which would you prefer?

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