Joe Jonas: What The Fug?

Coming from Jewtown in Jewidia, I've seen how difficult managing unruly locks can be. Sisters with Jew 'fros that would make Art Garfunkel gasp, hours under the dryers with friends while they get their curls straightened, wigs, weaves and every relaxing product known to man. It's hard out there for a 'fro -- something Joe Jonas obviously knows all too well.

I'd always assumed that his overly straightened hair was a careful cultivated image. A choice their stylist made to have him stand out from his perfectly curled siblings. Clearly that is not the case, as Joe proved at this weekend's Kid's Choice Awards by debuting a style that can only be described as perm-tastic!

Perhaps it was humid in LA on Saturday when the stars took to the red carpet. Maybe the Jo Bros are going back to a 70's sound for their next CD and have decided that fros, mustaches and overgrown chest hair will be the image this time 'round.

I fear for the future of America's tweens if this is the next look they're instructed to ape.

In other ridiculo-fug news, Paula Abdul walked the carpet in one of her signature everything but the kitchen sink looks. Let's evaluate from the top down.

Birds nest that she's calling hair, approximately 86 necklaces -- five of which she's wearing as bejeweled Queen of Me sashes -- fingerless gloves and suspenders that just hang there, like her jokes.

It's "Pretty Woman" meets "Clockwork Orange" divided by the pharmacy counter at RiteAid, all shot through the lens of a goth's wet dream. And I fully love every square inch of mesh netting!

Ensembles like this are prime examples of why Paula will forever be our girl!

Photo: WireImage

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